i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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