It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
