There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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