similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
