He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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