dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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