um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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