Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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