He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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