I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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