we need to drink 2009 down the drain
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
