After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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