The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
