It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
