when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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