Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
