At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
