Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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