Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
