so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
