so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
