why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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