We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
