i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
