Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
