we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
