I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
