Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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