Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
