The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
