I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
