Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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