he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
