One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
