I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
