I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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