the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
