it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
