Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
