is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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