Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
