there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
