shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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