THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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