bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
