I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I am naked and annoyed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
