also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
