We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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