I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
