Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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