Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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