let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This house was built for laser tag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
