I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
