So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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